And that’s OK.

But it feels weird to be part of the burlesque community, which is all about body positivity, and feel like I’m not happy with my body right now.

About 5 or 6 years ago, I hit my scary weight. But I didn’t change anything, and then I hit my new scarier scary weight. And then I finally did something. I started counting calories in and calories out using MyFitnessPal, which was an eye-opener and I made some changes. And then I got super into running and joined various running clubs and ran all the races, including a marathon, and lost like 30 pounds and multiple dress sizes.

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And that was 4 years ago.

Since then, I’ve struggled with runners knee, I moved out of the south suburbs, and the combo of the two meant I never got into a groove with another running club or group run. I signed up for another marathon but couldn’t overcome the knee pain and didn’t run it.

And I got into the burlesque scene, which has been so fun and awesome, but it’s not a workout like running is, and it takes up a bit of time, and yeah, so I haven’t been working out as much as I’d like to be.

But I’m still eating like I am.

So, you know … pretty typical story. And there’s only one person who can turn this story around, so I need to figure out how to do that. My knee might still give me pain if I try to go back to running like I was. I was getting into ClassPass and that was fun, but then they changed their pricing structure and I switched from unlimited classes to 5 classes per month, and then they changed their ambassador perks, and I decided not to renew my membership after this cycle runs out. I’ve also been really enjoying yoga lately, which again, isn’t a workout like running is, but is something that if done regularly, might really be beneficial to my running.

So, this is all to say that while I haven’t been blogging as much lately, but I’m going to try to start blogging more, if for no other reason that to hold myself, and my workouts accountable. I don’t want to beat myself up over my body, but I’m not happy with where I’m at right now. I don’t necessarily need to chase a certain weight, or dress size, but I do want to be healthier, stronger, fitter, faster.