I’ve been feeling a lot of negatively lately. It’s not all bad. But work stress has been creeping into other areas of my life. I come home with negativity. I don’t have the time (or energy or motivation) to workout as much, so I’m not giving myself a good healthy outlet to work out these aggressions.
And I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling this way, like I’m losing control over my own life. I don’t like that when I do workout, it’s so obvious that I’m losing strength and stamina. And I don’t like that I’m feeling all this stress, and for what?
But I know it’s all within my own control to fix it. I can maintain boundaries, prioritize what is important to me. This is my life and I’m the only one who can make it what I want to be.
I haven’t been blogging as much lately, but I’ve been at least trying to do my monthly check-in on my goals. And honestly, it’s an annoying post to write. I feel like the goals I set at the start of the year, while all nice and good, don’t reflect what’s important to me right now. But what is important to me?
I read a really great quote on Facebook a few weeks ago, and it really stuck with me. Maybe you’ve heard it.
Don’t worry, this is not quite an “OMG what am I doing with my life????” post. I’m not really fretting about the “Big Picture” of my life, but rather, the many smaller pictures that make up the big picture.
I don’t know that I’ve ever really been a Big Picture person. I’ve never had one singular goal in my life other than to be happy and feel like I’m doing some good. I think I’m struggling with that right now. I know what the source is, and there’s a pretty obvious way to fix it. And if I do, will that solve my problems? Well, no, nothing is that easy, but it’s a big step.
But the small pictures are important. What I do between 9-5. How I take care of myself. How I take care of the ones I love. How I express myself and who I am and share that with others. What truly gives me joy, or at least, enjoyment in that moment.