I’m Losing My Mojo

I think I’m losing my running mojo. Sort of.

So, the emo knee. Still emo. Predictably emo, at least. In that if I am not diligent about foam rolling & tennis balling, running won’t go well. And that was the story of this past weekend. I was lazy. I had time to roll & ball, but I didn’t. And then Sunday morning rolled around, time for a long run. And I knew it wouldn’t go well. I didn’t roll & ball like I should have. And why would my knee suddenly magically be fine? I made it 4 miles before the pain started, was able to tough it out until 6, and then that was it. The knee was done. So I walked the mile and a half back to my car. My goal was 10 miles.  I was on my feet for the amount of time it would have taken me to run 10 miles, even though I only covered 7.5 miles. So that’s something.

Yesterday I got a sports massage. I asked my massage therapist if this is my new normal. This is massage #3 this cycle. When I foam roll, I can run (I did manage 8 miles on the 4th of July.) But when I don’t, I can’t. My therapist said if I work on strengthening my core & hips, things should get better. So there’s that. And, you know, memo to self: Is foam rolling really that hard to keep up with?

So I don’t know if it’s just the frustration of my knee, and not being able to be a “lazy” runner anymore that’s causing me to feel like I’m losing my running mojo. Because I’ll be honest, I’m kind of not looking forward to the marathon. I don’t even mind all of the training – frankly, and I hate myself for caring about this, I wouldn’t mind losing some weight. I’ve always been of the “run because it’s awesome not because you want to reward yourself” mindset, but at the same time, even when I’m not training for a marathon, I eat like I am, and I’ve gained 20 pounds since my last marathon. That’s … not good. OK. Regardless of body image issues, that’s 10 pounds per year.  [For the record, my husband is stoked that I put on weight and am a little bit curvier. But I am selling all of my pants on Poshmark and wearing lots of stretchy dresses.]

I feel like if I didn’t have this issue with my knee (well, really, with tight muscles, it just results in pain around my knee), I would be stoked about the marathon. I like working towards goals. I like getting sweating and pushing myself. But I’m having a hard time enjoying training and focusing on those goals when I can barely get through 6 miles. How much foam rolling will I have to do to get through 26?

But really, I need to shutthefuckup because I have my health and if it’s just a case of freaking rolling around on top of a foam cylinder, I have nothing legitimate to complain about. 

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14 Comments on “I’m Losing My Mojo”

  1. Boo emo knee!

    Sorry you’re still fighting with that shit. These things are so finicky as we both know oh so well.

    I’ve got loads of super fun hip exercises if you want some suggestions. Since the hips are legitimately the root of all evil running injuries, it makes sense you were told to strengthen them. That’s like 90% of my PT appointments. It’s tough to foam roll/ball/ etx post run but TRUST me once you start adding it on post run, it will be routine and your knee will thank you. The last thing I wanna do (post working out for an hour) is add 20 minutes of PT but it’s worth it.

    Oh and my pool- the Ping Tom is freaking awesome. It’s usually not too crowded and it’s pretty clean. I love it.

    1. I would love suggestions on hip exercises! Anything for variety. And glad to hear Ping Tom is good. I’ve tried Sheridan Park (near Little Italy) and it was OK but most of the CPD pools (moreso the locker rooms) are a little bit older.

  2. So sorry to hear about the emo knee! I understand the pain and the frustration that comes with not fully understanding the root cause of the issue. Keep your head up and don’t give up trying to keep the pain away…even small changes can have huge impacts! Good luck 🙂

    1. I preferred running when I could just go for a run, and that was it! Oh well. All good things must come to an end 🙂 At least we can still get out there with proper maintenance.

  3. Definitely work those hips and glutes… My runner’s knee didn’t get better until after a month of doing them consistently. Even then I still had some imbalances that caused the post-tib tendinitis I just recovered from. You’ll be back up and running normally again soon – and with stronger hips/glutes you’ll feel new energy like I have in my last few races. Also check out the 100 Up to help reinforce proper running form even when tired, as well as strengthen the hips and glutes. http://www.irunfar.com/2014/04/dynamic-core-stability-the-100-up-reloaded.html

  4. Been there, done that! I think the most important thing PT taught me when I was having knee issues (IT band felt like it was pulling my knee totally off) is a strong butt, hips and core are keys to knee pain relief. The roller is my best friend after a run and it has become a natural part to post-runs as a shower is now. Cross training includes squats, leg lifts with rubber bands which I do while watching TV and yoga once a week. Stay positive because you can do this! I can’t wait to see your finisher picture. 🙂

  5. You should see if you can convince your CES people to do your PT exercises with you after you run 🙂 We used to do that when I did track workouts with my running club and it made it less annoying.

  6. Ahhhh that sucks! Sorry you are feeling down. I know how it is with some of the issues I’ve had in the past. I’ve been dealing with a piriformis thing since December (until about 2 months ago, I thought it was IT band related). But for me, at least that doesn’t bother me when I run. I know all about emo knees. I hope it feels better. Hit that foam roller! Just do it! Because I want to cheer you on at the marathon!

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